Once a term, I have my students write a gratitude list for their daily journal. I set a timer for 15 minutes, project the clock for all to see, and ask them to continuously write about things in their life, both ordinary and extraordinary, that they are grateful to experience. I will often do the daily journals with them (practice what you preach, right?), and I, without fail, always list that I am grateful for my job.
When asked to write a blurb about education and what I was grateful for, my immediate concern was that I was going to come across as tone-deaf. It is an extraordinarily challenging time to be an educator, with many leaving the profession due to lack of support, pay, and the overall neglect of what is too often a broken system. During the brief few months that I spent in a traditional high school setting, I would gamble that I saw less than half of the trials and tribulations that most go through daily and it still nearly broke me - adding dents to an experience that was supposed to be my “win.” I would drive home sobbing from school, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of isolation, lack of guidance, misuse of power, and impossible expectations. Modern educators are expected to be the epitome of a well-rounded human without being given the proper tools to succeed. Humanity was sucked out of teaching in that environment, and it broke my heart.
Boy, have things certainly changed for me now. So much, that when having a week-long leave from my current position and school, that I was itching to get back in the classroom rather than praying to whoever was listening for a temporary, minor medical setback to keep me away for just one more day.
When going through a teacher education program, an alternative school is nothing more than just a chapter in an overpriced textbook (in my experience). The thought never occurred to me that there were options beyond the traditional K-12 setting, and even if there were options, I could never do that, right? Am I even qualified? Imposter syndrome is real and it is brutal. When applying for positions, nothing I was finding was bringing me a sense of peace. This is not too unusual for someone who has never been relaxed a day in her life, but I need the voices to calm down for a moment. I found my current position on Indeed (not sponsored) and, positive I would hear nothing back, I applied. They wanted someone with more experience than I had and who was (preferably) bilingual. However, I wanted to “shoot my shot,” as the youth say and applied anyway. My two-hour-long interview was filled with titillating conversation about education and discourse about the very real, very human part of teaching and how to maintain that. Needless to say, I sat by my phone for three days until I heard back.
I am grateful to work in a school environment that not only values quality education, but also the people who keep the system alive; both teacher and student. I am grateful for a Director who works her best to make her staff and students feel heard. I am thankful for passionate, dedicated colleagues who not only devote themselves to making connections with students but with each other. I am thankful to work in an environment where I can be human, make mistakes, and have the opportunity to grow as I go. But most of all, I am thankful for my students. A population that has every reason to give up but still shows up anyway. Their impact on my career, and my heart, is immeasurable. They are magic.
By no means am I saying that I have found the “perfect” work environment, every institution has room for improvement and a system that is created and run by humans will always have errors. Nonetheless, I am grateful to be reminded every day that humanity still has a place in the classroom and that I, too, can find my place within four windowless walls.
Jianni Adams
First Year Teacher
Excel Center
Bloomington, Indiana
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